Friday, September 14, 2007

To The Men Who's Been Part of My Life...

I had two boyfriends before I met hubby. One was my college sweetheart. We stayed together for four years and it was doing well when we thought of having a break just to try being apart from each other. When we thought we made the wrong decision, a situation wouldn't permit us to be back in each others arms. He has to face his obligation while I was hurt really really bad with his situation. He would constantly give me a ring, crying and regretting what he did but I knew no matter how we try it, I just couldn't take him back. I don't want to be the cause of another child being left behind by her father.

When we had a very serious talk, I told him, "I guess this only means one thing, we're not meant to be"...

TO YOU MY FIRST

Thank you for the wonderful years we've spent together. Thank you for the great memories. Thank you for the untiring love, for the undying love you've shown me. Ours was something I will never regret. I know we once wished to end up together, I know we had such a big dream of building our family but our fate wouldn't allow us.

I hope you're happy now coz I have finally found my happiness with the man that I marry.


Strange but I broke up with my second boyfriend after four years as well. Maybe because during his time I still felt something for my first ex, my feelings for him didn't last long but the relationship did. I was too scared to admit that I was just using him as my security to not have this feeling of being left behind after I convinced my first ex to do what's right - to face his responsibility. I know what I did was bad. Staying with someone I don't love and making him believe that I do, that was something I am never proud of.


TO YOU MY SECOND...

I'm Sorry... If I didn't end it sooner even if I knew it would come to this. I knew that when the time comes when I had to go it would mean like shattering your dreams.
Sorry if I made it go on for so long. If I made it last longer even if I knew we were never a match. Even if I knew I was dragging myself to a much harder situation, I stayed & tried to love you. I'm sorry I made the wrong decision when I decided to stick with you even if I felt like you're trying too hard to make me love you. I was too weak to admit that I'm going to hurt you. I didn't have enough courage to tell you I was in pain, that I wanted to leave. I held it all in, praying things would change, that I will learn to love you again. I kept it inside, hoping things would turn out fine.

I'm sorry I lied. I led myself to believe everything will be okay. Even though all the signs pointed to no, I still kept telling myself yes.

I'm sorry for not giving you back the love that you deserve. I wish I could turn back the time so I wouldn't have to lie and make you believe I still love you. I wish you can read this to let you know how sorry I was for hurting you.

I heard you've found a new love, I wish she truly loves you the way you should be loved.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

This reminds me of a post I made ...