Ready For Baby Number 2?

"Mommy, mag baby na uli tayo..." hubby said to me. I was speechless, not expecting those words yet from him. I just looked at him and didn't know what to say, I just giggled at the thought of it. Then he turned to the princess, "Do you want a baby brother or a baby sister?" she replied "I want a baby sister". Haha! Sounds like she's really eager to have a playmate...

I know I said I want 3-5 kids. I know it's also hard to take the risk of getting pregnant when you reached the age of thirty five, given the ideal age gap for the kids which is 3-4 years, I would probably be on my mid-40's by the time I get pregnant with baby no. 4-5, yikes!!! I actually miss having a baby in the house. While I was doing the Christmas shopping the other day I saw the infant section and I couldn't help but check on them, oh, the cute little stuffs are just so lovely. But then again, the trauma of my difficult pregnancy still haunts me. I had three bleedings, one on each trimester and I had to be on total bed rest on my seventh month. With my very active toddler I don't know if I can afford to stay on bed if the same thing happens to me. Wanting to have baby number 2 is out of the question, it's just the fear of probably experiencing the same kind of pregnancy.

Happy For You!

Six years she waited. Waited for someone to make her heart beat again. Yes, she's easy to fall for someone but I think she's wise enough to know when it's the right man or not, I think she's learned her lesson. I've never heard her voice that happy over the phone when she's talking about him, about how he makes her feel.

To you my dear sister, I really hope he's the one. I know you want to settle down in a few years time, I know how you wanted a child of your own. Let's pray that he is the answer to your prayer of finding the perfect partner for you. I just want to let you know how happy I am that you've finally found someone. Well, at least now you'll be out of that club (SMP - Samahan ng Malalmig ang Pasko! Haha!!) :D Love you sissy!

Up Close and Personal

This was taken when we watched the concert, he went to the backstage and when everyone was waiting for him to go back the stage, we heard him singing from the back, the next thing I knew Josh was in front of me! I didn't know what to do first, should I take his picture or shake his hands? Lucky me, I was able to do both!

The Princess is PAID!

I paid my bills online this morning and stamped the statements with "PAID" rubber stamps. The princess saw me and asked if she could borrow it, I gave her a piece of paper and told her to just use the stamp only with the paper that I gave her. I got busy with other things until I noticed her putting stamps on her body. I laughed and remembered that after Gymboree class she usually got stamps on her tummy, hands and feet and she did the same, I saw the PAID stamps on the same parts of her body. Well, at least she knows where else to use the stamp!:D

Who Said Beggars Can't Be Choosers?

I was about to go out this morning when I heard the door bell ringing. When I asked who was on the gate, a man's voice replied "sulat!", so I went out to grab the mail but when I opened the gate, a group of beggar was outside and one of them tried to hand me an empty envelope, obviously he wants me to put some money inside. I have to admit I got really annoyed with their style of asking for some help. I seldom give money when some indigents are asking for help so I went inside, looked in my fridge and took some breads and other food which they can readily eat. When I handed the food to them, the man said in a demanding tone, "walang pera?" I got so annoyed but I don't want to ruin my day so I went back inside and pretended that I didn't hear anything. I really wanted to get back to him, to tell him that he should at least be thankful for what I gave them but I realized my deed of wanting to help in my own way would make no sense If I will loose my patience.

To My Dearest Hubby

I may not tell you everyday how much I love you. I may not be the sweetest wife. I may not be as patient as I should be especially when you do your "own style" (teasing her till she cries) of bonding with the princess. But you know I'm trying my best to be at my best for you and still tries to better each day. Whatever happens, know that you and our li'l princess are the most wonderful things that ever happened to me. Only God could love you more than I do.

Ours is never close to being a perfect relationship. No relationship is perfect anyway. Sometimes, no matter how we want to settle things to avoid going to bed angry at one another, we still fail to do so. Being married to one another is never an easy thing, maybe because we are both stubborn people. Then add the way we raise our princess and we don't even get to compromise anymore. But none of those would make me love you less. None of those would want me to bring back the time and find any other husband because I believe that we have an amazing relationship and there's no one else I'd rather have by my side than you. I also believe that God paved a way for us to end up together. I think it's clear to you now what my purpose in your life is.

Thank you for showing a huge changes to make things right in this family. Thank you for working so hard to provide us good life, a comfortable life. Thank you for the "regular dates". Thank you for loving my family. Thank you for always thinking ways on how to surprise me. Thank you for trying to be a listener when I talk. Thank you for showing me how much you love me. For initiating most of the times on being sweet. For kissing me when you walk in the door from work. Thank you for trying to be a better dad for our princess each day. I want you to know that I see them, each small things that you do for me, I appreciate them and I love you more each day for them.

As we take the journey to our fourth year, I'm wishing that we will always keep the flame burning and just be happy and be there for one another all the time. Let's continue keeping the Lord the center of our family. Happy Anniversary Dad!

Birthday Surprise No More

I once told hubby that I think nothing can top the surprise he gave me last year. He managed to gather my friends from High School to College and surprised me with my favorite bands. Yesterday we were at Greenbelt when he suddenly disappeared without letting me know where he went. I tried calling his phone but I can't reach him until I lost my patience trying to look for him. When he came back, he doesn't have to ask if I'm mad, it was clearly obvious with the way I look at him. He was then forced to tell the supposed-to-be birthday surprise. Here it is;


Yes, we will celebrate my birthday watching favorite Josh Groban's concert. Yipeeee!!!
Needless to say, my anger suddenly disappeared when I saw the tickets.

He said he had to rush in buying the tickets coz the ticket selling was open to public just yesterday and no VIP tickets were left, and the one that he got was the best seats left.

Growing Princess = New Sets of Wardrobe

As the princess grow taller and chubbier each day, I had to buy new sets of clothes. I just want to share it here, I got these sets of sleepwear, carters export overruns at P160 per set. Isn't that a steal?

To The Men Who's Been Part of My Life...

I had two boyfriends before I met hubby. One was my college sweetheart. We stayed together for four years and it was doing well when we thought of having a break just to try being apart from each other. When we thought we made the wrong decision, a situation wouldn't permit us to be back in each others arms. He has to face his obligation while I was hurt really really bad with his situation. He would constantly give me a ring, crying and regretting what he did but I knew no matter how we try it, I just couldn't take him back. I don't want to be the cause of another child being left behind by her father.

When we had a very serious talk, I told him, "I guess this only means one thing, we're not meant to be"...

TO YOU MY FIRST

Thank you for the wonderful years we've spent together. Thank you for the great memories. Thank you for the untiring love, for the undying love you've shown me. Ours was something I will never regret. I know we once wished to end up together, I know we had such a big dream of building our family but our fate wouldn't allow us.

I hope you're happy now coz I have finally found my happiness with the man that I marry.


Strange but I broke up with my second boyfriend after four years as well. Maybe because during his time I still felt something for my first ex, my feelings for him didn't last long but the relationship did. I was too scared to admit that I was just using him as my security to not have this feeling of being left behind after I convinced my first ex to do what's right - to face his responsibility. I know what I did was bad. Staying with someone I don't love and making him believe that I do, that was something I am never proud of.


TO YOU MY SECOND...

I'm Sorry... If I didn't end it sooner even if I knew it would come to this. I knew that when the time comes when I had to go it would mean like shattering your dreams.
Sorry if I made it go on for so long. If I made it last longer even if I knew we were never a match. Even if I knew I was dragging myself to a much harder situation, I stayed & tried to love you. I'm sorry I made the wrong decision when I decided to stick with you even if I felt like you're trying too hard to make me love you. I was too weak to admit that I'm going to hurt you. I didn't have enough courage to tell you I was in pain, that I wanted to leave. I held it all in, praying things would change, that I will learn to love you again. I kept it inside, hoping things would turn out fine.

I'm sorry I lied. I led myself to believe everything will be okay. Even though all the signs pointed to no, I still kept telling myself yes.

I'm sorry for not giving you back the love that you deserve. I wish I could turn back the time so I wouldn't have to lie and make you believe I still love you. I wish you can read this to let you know how sorry I was for hurting you.

I heard you've found a new love, I wish she truly loves you the way you should be loved.

The Princess Talks

Seeing my princess growing so fast really overwhelms me. There were times that I just enjoy staring at her while she's asleep and I always end up thinking how fast she has grown from the tiny fragile infant that came out from my tummy. She started communicating with just her cries when she wanted something and now I can't stop her from talking even if I find it hard to understand some words.

She imitates almost everything she hears.

One time she was eating ice cream on a waffle cone. I asked her if I can hold it for her.

Princess: No mommy I'll hold it!
Mommy: okay, but can you share it with mommy?
She gave me the ice cream and reminded me
Princess: Not too big mommy okay?
(We usually tell this to her when she's eating, "not too big" on her bites for her
not choke)

Hubby was calling Juana saying "Juana! Juana! Juana!" Princess talked as if reprimanding her dad.

Princess: Daddy, do't say Juana. Say A-te Jua-na!

That's what we usually tell her when she imitates us in calling her yaya, she'd say Juana and we will remind her to call her yaya the proper way.

She now has her way to reason out and give us naughty answers.

After a night bath, I was putting on her nappy when she gave me nasty smelling bottom burp and I said,


Mommy:Oh my! That smells so awful anak!!!
Princess: Ichokay mommy, ichokay (saying this while rubbing my shoulders as if trying to console me) LOL!!!

She saw her dad eating chocolates and I tried hiding it from her.

Princess: No mommy that's bad, shey okay? (share)

Hubby and I can't help but laugh and I ended up giving her some chocolate.


She has her way to show me that she cares when I'm mad or sad.

When she feels that I'm angry at something she did.

Princess: Mommy a you mad? a you mad mommy?
Mommy: Yeah, I am. I didn't like what you just did.
Princess: Soyi na soyi na po ha? (then she'll give me her sweetest kiss and will give her heart-melting smile)

One time she caught me crying when dad & I had some misunderstanding.

Princess: Mommy a you taying? A you dud?
Mommy: Yes sweety but mommy's ok, I'm good don't worry.
Princess: Okay (then she'll tap me on my back and will give me a kiss)
Isn't she the sweetest?


Haaay... Time flies really fast. How I wish I could freeze this moment so she will stay young and I won't have to let her go someday. *sniff sniff*

Disturbed

I am so disturbed by this family who lives across our house. I seldom see the kids' parents at home because both of them are working. What bothers me is the way the parents treat the kids, I think they are being physically and verbally abused by their own parents, well, not that brutal but beating a child so hard for me can be a sort of abusing a young child's mind and body. One time I heard the mom shouting at her 10-year-old son, asking him to leave the house and to never come back again. How can you say that to your son? How can you tell something that would impose to a child that he is no longer wanted in that house? That his mother doesn't care if he leaves the house? There is no week that I will never hear them beating their children and I would be tempted to look outside my window to check if the kid's are still doing okay coz believe it or not, they beat their children sometimes in their garage and anyone who passes the house can clearly see them. I must admit the kids are hard to deal with, usually they are left with their old grandpa looking after them and I sometimes hear them saying really nasty words against their grandpa. I myself was a victim of their behavioral problems. Our garage right now has only one parking and while hubby's car is parked inside, mine is parked in front of our gate, they used to harass my car, add some scratch on it and put something in the key hole. They used to ring our door bell and hide whenever we open the gate to see who was ringing the bell. One day I got pissed off, after so many times of ringing our bell, I decided I will confront them. I waited for them to come and I caught them. I talked to them, asked them to stop and told them that I don't want to tell their behavior to their parents coz I don't want them to get hurt. After that, they never touched my car nor ring my bell again. I thought, maybe the reason for their behavior is because of parents who gives them less attention and because of the physical and verbal abuse. Disciplining a child is good but when do you know when you already hit the boundaries of proper discipline and physical abuse?

An Act of Kindness

It feels good when you do something good to others. may it be a small or a big thing, the fact that you made others happy and I mean really happy, all the sacrifices and efforts you've done will pay off. Hubby & I recently gave a very nice surprise to our loved ones. I'm just glad that God continues to touch my heart despite of some pains I had to encounter in the process. God is really good!

Raising A Bilingual Kid

When I was still conceiving with the princess, hubby and I decided that we will speak to her in English. Simply because we believe that it has it's advantage and we know for sure that her, learning the Filipino language will come naturally. True enough, she can understand and speak Filipino as well because her yaya and my in-laws speaks to her in Filipino. I was happy that she can understand both languages because we know she will benefit from it.

I heard a friend's story about her daughter whom they trained to strictly speak in English language, is now having a hard time in school specifically in her Filipino Subject. The other day, when I brought the princess to her pedia for a regular check up, I noticed one mommy lecturing her daughter some Filipino words. The little girl was obviously having a hard time. When I talked to the mom, she said that her daughter's having a hard time in her Filipino subject.

I think teaching my princess both Filipino and English language will be beneficial to her. When she started attending classes at Gymboree, she didn't have a hard time following instructions given in English. Now I am sure the her learning our native language will give her an easier time when she started going to classes with Filipino subject. Not to mention we are Filipinos and she should learn to speak and understand the language.

I noticed lately she was playing with some words both in English and Filipino. It was raining in the afternoon and she called my attention saying; "mom, tam i show you, dey is baby dey outside (mom, come i'll show you, there is baby there outside)". I told her it's impossible coz it's raining and she tried to convince me by saying "tam, look dey baby o, bata, baby, bata, see dey? (come, look there, baby o)". And while she was playing with her kitchen set, she said "mommy, mo more chichen toy you, la na o, mo more na (mommy, no more chicken for you, la na o, no more na)". And sometimes when she's saying "stop", she would also say "wag".

Isn't He Sweet?

(the card says)

Mommy

My love for you is ever growing. Each day, each night, you are always by my side. Let's grow our love together.

I Love you

Daddy

He sent me this icard, maybe he felt that I wasn't feeling okay yesterday. I didn't tell him about it, I didn't want to add pressure on him, he's busy working for us. Giving us a comfortable life so I didn't want to bother him with my selfish sentiments.

Feeling low

Do you have this kind of day when you're just feeling low? I do. I woke up today feeling so low. I felt like I haven't done much except taking care of my princess and making sure that hubby's needs are taken care of as well. Don't get me wrong, I've no regrets about it, in fact I love doing it. It's just that I feel like there are more things I can do while attending to their needs. I'd like to do something that would make me feel better. I'd like to be busy with other things and at the same time look after my princess. I wish I could come up to some business ideas that would really keep me occupied. Something that would be for a long term but wouldn't eat all my time so I will not be having a hard time dividing my time for my family and the business.

A Decision Made

I just had a serious talk with hubby. After months and months of searching for answers on whether I will continue to take my NCLEX and pursue my career in the US, I finally had the answer now.

Let me share with you some reasons why I wanted to try our luck in the US. Personally, I wanted to pursue my career, I am fulfilled as a house mommy but I also wanted to experience the fulfillment of sharing something financially to our family and being a nurse there would mean having a better pay. I wanted to secure a better future for my princess and future kids, she/they'll have more opportunities there and we could always come back here in case things doesn't work well for us there.

We carefully thought of the HUGE adjustments that we will make in case we decided to try our luck in another country.

-No Household help, we will definitely have to share the household chores since I will no longer be a SAHM.

-It will be very hard for us to have the regular "dates" that we normally do here.

-I can't devote the same amount of time that I am giving them now simply because I'll be at work for 8 or 12 hours, and most probably it will mostly be at night.

-We might end up having to leave our li'l princess in a day care when our schedules will not meet.

Aside from the idea that special occasions will never be the same because we don't have relatives & friends to invite there, the last one is what really hits me. I can't imagine leaving my princess to a stranger, someone I don't know. I have nothing against day care, I know that I'll b fine when I get used to it, but it's just so hard for me to take the idea.

Now, if we stay here, hubby has a stable job. Stable enough that I can still afford to be a SAHM and I'm enjoying it coz I don't know if I can say the same when we decided to go have another child.

The decision? We will STAY HERE... I'm not sure if this is final but right now, we will definitely stay.

As to the fulfillment of my career, I can give that up if it means being able to spend each day with my princess and being able to attend to my family's needs. Right now, I'm thinking of venturing into a small business.

Does She Have a Sharp Memory?

My princess is growing really fast (she's 26 months now) and I'm proud to say she's a smart little girl. It seems to me that she has a good memory, she's very observant & loves discovering things. She knows a lot of Nursery Rhymes now. Although her words aren't that clear yet, she knows most of the lines from the songs. Here are some of it that she knows; (these are what I can recall so far)

Jesus Loves Me
I Love You Song (Barney's theme)
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Mr. Sun
Baa Baa Black Sheep
The Alphabet Song
Skip to My Lou
Row Row Row Your Boat
Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat
My Toes, My Knees...
Me and My Teddy
You Are My Sunshine
Mary Had a Little Lamb
Itsy Bitsy Spider
The More We Get Together
Old McDonald
One Two Buckle My Shoe
Rain Rain Go Away
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
The Wheels On the Bus
Ring Aroung the Rosie
Dora The Explorer Songs
Backyardigans Theme and some songs
Songs from her Gymboree class

When we're praying at night, I wouldn't have to remind her the names of our loved ones that we're praying for. I was surprised to hear her count from 1-20 the other day while she was playing with her blocks (I know it's not too much but I'm still proud of her). Every time she watches her favorite shows, which has a lot of episodes, she can recall the next scenes even without looking at the screen. She knows how to operate her DVD player and I wouldn't be surprise if one day she'll be able to use my laptop too. I was wondering if she really has a sharp memory or it's just normal for her age.

The Curious Princess

Last week I was going to install a new software in my laptop, when I inserted a cd the optical disc drive, it didn't function. I was so disappointed to know that my less than one year old laptop is encountering problem like this. Hubby and I agreed to bring it to the Apple Service Center next week. The other day, hubby was trying some feature on my mobile phone and he replaced the sim card, I placed it on top of my laptop. I went out of the room to get something and when I came back here was the conversation I was hearing from hubby & the princess;

Hubby: What have you done? Lagot ka sa mommy. (hubby was trying to get something inside the optical disc drive)

Princess: Daddy o, dey o, look. (there o, look)

Yes, my li'l Princess inserted my sim card inside. I tried to get it too when hubby gave up but I didn't succeed as well and I was crying already while trying to get it. Hubby said he'll bring it to the service center.

The little Princess did what she had to do to make me stop from crying by saying
"Toyi mommy, toyi po." while giving me a tap on my back. What kind of mother am I if I woudn't forgive my curios child? so I just gave her a hug and she gave me a kiss.

That night, hubby arrived with my laptop and he told me what went on. When the man from the service center came back with my laptop, he gave the memory card to hubby, he was surprised to see that and said, there's also a sim card inside so he asked him to open it again. In short, the optical disc drive is ok, there was just the memory card inside preventing it from functioning right.

The culprit? who else but the li'l princess.

Grateful To My FIL

Since my papa passed away even before I got married, he obviously didn't get the chance to see my li'l princess. He may not be the type who would change my princess' nappy but surely he would enjoy her coz he's always been fond of babies. My FIL is such a patient man, at first I didn't know that he'd be the kind of grandfather that would take care of his grandchild but it turned out to be a great "lolo". He would always volunteer to look after my princess whenever he has the chance. He feeds her patiently, carry her all the time especially when we're out whether we're at the park or at the mall. He never gets tired of chasing my li'l princess and he plays with her even if it means playing "a tea party" with her. I just love to see him enjoying every moment he could spend with her. I'm so glad and so lucky to have him as my FIL, so happy to see a grandfather very affectionate to her only "apo".

My Own Household Help Blues

Unfortunately, I'm one of those who's having a hard time finding a "really" reliable household help. I am the type who is very lenient when it comes to handling them, I seldom and I mean seldom get mad if they did some thing wrong or broke something. Usually the only words that would came out of my mouth is " ano ba yan, mag ingat ka naman" (with a soft tone) and nothing else. My sister says maybe this is the reason why they're being so abusive.

I originally hired Juana to do the household chores, laundry, ironing of clothes, washing the dishes and cleaning the house which isn't a big one. When I saw that she knows how to take care of a child, I thought of her as a potential yaya. When I started my review, I decided to lessen Juana's load by asking someone else to do the laundry and ironing. So I made her a part time yaya (part time because she only look after my daughter when I'm not home)and the only workload that she has is cleaning the house. I can honestly say that she's lucky to have us as her employer coz aside from the fact that we're not strict, we provide all her personal needs (toothpaste, shampoo, soap & sometimes even lotion, etc.), we eat the same food, we bring her with us even if we're dining at an expensive restaurant and eats the same food that we eat. She had the chance to travel to different places, places that she has never been in her entire life. Her workload is lighter compared to the usual household help that I know. We allow her to watch a television. She doesn't cook. She only takes care of my daughter when I'm out and we never ask her to do other chores when she's looking after my daughter, not even when she's sleeping. We gave her a bonus last December (which we normally do) equivalent of her one month salary even if she's been with us for only four months during this time. But being the abusive or lazy that she is - she wakes up at 7:30-8:00 in the morning. The radio that i provided for her is turned on the moment she wakes up until bed time which by the way is not late. She sleeps every single afternoon. She doesn't have the initiative to do things that are expected of her, except for cleaning which is the only regular routine she does. There were several times when she watched something that ended up late and she didn't wash the dishes left in the sink, this I had to call her attention coz one thing that I hate to see is unclean dishes being left overnight. During the time that ironing is part of her job, I do the dishes at night coz I know she can't just wet her hands after it. There's actually more problems that I encounter with her. Now, if you'll ask me why I'm not yet looking for replacement, it's because my only consolation with her is that she knows how to take care of a child. I don't actually leave my daughter alone with her, there's always a relative present when I'm out because I can't trust her enough knowing that she has this hobby of sleeping in the afternoon. I am also not so sure if she's saying bad things in front of my daughter which she might be able to remember and later on comes out of her mouth. Added to the fact that I can't be so sure if she wouldn't hurt my princess if she became hard to handle.

I'm planning to have a heart to heart talk with her, hopefully I can make her realize that she's lucky enough to be with us compared to those household help who are being physically & verbally abused. I hope she'll get into her senses coz if not, I'll have no other choice but to let her go even if it means undergoing another screening and training.

Here's to a loving Dad!

(I'm posting this now coz I might not have the time tomorrow coz we will definitely be out all day)

It never came to me that he'd be a good dad to my princess, I didn't see him as the kind of man whose fond of playing with kids. I thought he'd be the kind of dad who will just be around but will not play with his daughter. As the princess grows, I've seen him changed a lot. I've seen him enjoying her, wanting to spend time with her, playing and watching cartoons with her. He can't even wait for the day when he and her princess could go out, just the two of them to have some bonding and quality time together. I realized people really change. He's one good example of it. From a man who is not so into kids, he turned out to be a good dad. He's even enjoying to see other kids now when we go out without our princess, whenever he sees a little girl he'd say "I miss the little princess" and would want to be home quick to be with her. And by the way, he was the one much more eager to enroll her to Gymboree (I thought of enrolling her to a school nearby coz Shangri-La where she's enrolled is quite far from our place) for a summer activity.

Dad,

I know you're doing your best to be the kind of dad our princess deserves. Thank you for being a great dad, for wanting only the best for her, for being a good provider (I just hope you wouldn't go beyond the limit so as not to spoil her), for being her playmate especially when I'm cooking, for being a sweet daddy and for wanting her to be a "daddy's girl" (that doesn't sound so good to me but I'm glad coz you want her to be close to you).

I'm glad coz I can see your eagerness to learn on how to be a better dad each day. You (and I) still have a long way to go but I know you'll do the best you can to raise her the way we both want her to be, a loving child and God-fearing one.

Happy Father's Day! We love You so much!!!

Happy Birthday Papa

For most of the people, today is the celebration of our Independence but for me and my family, this more than that, today is my father's birthday. I remember how papa would celebrate his birthday yearly, lots of foods, lots of guests and i mean a lot. In one of his celebration I was the one who cooked, a set of 10-12 menus if I'm not mistaken, good for 150-200 guests. His last birthday he celebrated it at our resort in Cavite, amazingly, almost all of his friends came not minding how far the location was. It turned out that it was his last birthday celebration, maybe God made it so special because it will be his last. A lot of people felt bad with papa's sudden death. He was a good man, a man with a kind heart especially for those who are in need. During his wake, we occupied the biggest chapel at Arlington and every night, the chapel and the lobby was filled with papa's friends. On our way to Holy Cross for the interment, friends from one street where papa grew up and has helped a lot of people requested that we passed by that place, we were surprised to see a streamer hanging on the street that says "Boss Bobot Mahal Ka Naming Lahat".Everyone in the coaster burst into tears upon reading it. We didn't know he has touched so much lives there, that those people loved him that much because of his good heart.

We still celebrate his birthday, usually we'll gather some friends and relatives and have dinner together. Mama still cries whenever we talk about papa, I still do.

Papa,
I miss you so much, ours wasn't the ideal father and daughter relationship but I love you so much and I hope I was able to let you feel that when you were here with us. I miss cooking for you, I miss those criticisms you were giving if you didn't like what I prepared for you, I've learned a lot from it. I'm a better cook now and I owe it to you. You're only grand daughter is growing so fast, I'm sure if you were still here with us you'd get her from us often coz you miss having a baby in the house. I love you pa.

Happy Birthday!

Reminiscing the old days...

A good friend of mine paid me a visit the other day. He was my former group mate when I was in college. Our Institute has implemented a Block Sections for all the Nursing Students and there were only three sections then so basically we were like High School students who almost knew each and everyone from our batch. I love our section, ours was the most cooperative one (no offense to other sections, this is IMHO), almost everyone has found a way to click and be good friends. Our group (Group D) has been friends since day one, of course there were ups and downs along with it, misunderstandings and some petty fights but we managed to patch up things in no time. Being a Nursing student then, almost everyday we had to stay up late (usually in my place since almost all of my group mates stays in the Dormitory) and do our Nursing Care Plan/Process (NCP) to be submitted the next morning. If we were not having our NCP's overnight, that's because we were on duty so basically we're still spending our nights together. Spending lots of time together, we started building a great friendship. After we graduated, everyone except me and Emer pursue their Nursing career. I wanted to but some things got in the way. When Edward visited me the other day, we didn't notice the time, we tried to catch up on so many things. How life has been since we graduated. How we missed the old days, our group mates. We talked about the idea of having a get together, oh how fun it would be coz our group always find a way to just laugh at anything under the sun. We can imagine how great it would be. The next day, I talked to Chris (another former group mate who is now in London) over YM and i told him about Edward's visit. He agreed that it would be really great if we will be able to set that get together but then he couldn't commit to that for now coz he's still waiting for his citizenship. Oh well, I hope they could all come back here at the same time so we can have that dream of spending time with them again.

Accidents do happen even in the most secured places...

I was going to bake pizza when something bad happened. I preheated the oven while I was preparing the pizza. When I checked on the oven, the flame was out so I tried turning it on again, little did I know that the flame was out longer that I expected, so when I introduce the flame, there, it exploded, it was due to the gas being contained inside without the flame. My feet got burned and the pain is severe. I did the first aid myself, I Submerged my feet on a cold water. I sent a message to hubby about the incident and he called right away, when he heard me crying he knew it was something serious coz he know I have a high tolerance when it comes to pain but this one is different, the pain is so intense that I just wanted to pass out for me not to feel any pain. On his way home I asked him to buy me Flammazine Cream, a burn ointment and some pain reliever. He insisted to bring me to the hospital but I said I'll be fine. Despite the pain reliever that I took, pain is not subsiding, the burning sensation is so intense that I kept on crying. I was observing it, checking for it's color & blisters and I thought it was just a first degree burn. At 11:00 o'clock in the evening I noticed the blisters started coming out so I decided to go to St. Lukes Hospital for proper wound management. Some part sustained a second degree burn. They gave me two shots of anti tetanus to prevent possible infection, cleaned the wound, applied Flammazine & put some dressing. The pain finally subsided but I still have to observe and hope that the wound will not get worse.

On the other hand, I still feel blessed that it was only my feet which sustained burn, it would have been much painful if my face and arms got burned as well. And most especially I am so thankful that my princess was in the living room when it happened.

Accidents happen and my passion for cooking will never go away but I swore not to use that oven again, last night, hubby bought me a small electric oven to make sure I will never use the gas range oven again. And when I say my passion for cooking will never go way, one proof was, last night I still cooked a special prawns & baked chicken for hubby despite the severe pain I was feeling (that's one way I can divert my attention for me not to focus on pain). He tried to stop me but I cooked it anyway. When my mom & sister came to check on me, sister said "ok ha, na burn ka na't lahat sarap pa din ng ulam nyo, hehe". See? I love cooking and nothing can stop me from doing it.

Fresh From The Wet Market

I woke up early today and went to the wet market near our place. This is unusual for me coz it has been almost 15years since the last time I went there. Since the supermarket has been a convenient place for shoppers (when they started offering seafoods & meat products), I have not visited a wet market. If I wanted some fresh seafoods, I'd ask a relative who regularly visits a wet market to buy some for me. But earlier today I decided I'd go there myself to try it once again. I was happy to see a few old faces, yup, amazingly they're still there, some of my suki way back then is still there selling the same thing. Although I doubt it if they still remember me. It's still the same place I used to go to but I noticed it's harder to ask for discounts now compared to before that a simple smile would make them give in to your desired price. I actually had fun coz I was able to buy lots of ingredients that you can never find in a supermarket, not to mention all the fresh seafoods & vegies they can offer. While I was there seeing a lot around me, I bought some things I don't actually plan of buying. When I saw the malagkit (Glutinous Rice), I thought of buying more ingredients so I can cook Ginataang Halo Halo (Mixture of Fruits cooked in Coconut milk). I was so excited, I cooked it as soon as I get home.


I also bought some ubod so I can make Fresh or Fried Lumpiang Ubod (Hearts of Palm Spring Roll) tomorrow. Can't wait to cook all the seafoods that I bought, Pink Salmon, Lapu Lapu, Milk fish & Lapu Lapu Fillet & Tiger Prawns! Yum-o!!!

When I got home, I smell like a fish! arggghh! It felt like I absorbed all the stinky odor from the market so I went straight to the bathroom.

Bangus Sticks

I was about to cook Sinigang na Bangus sa Miso, all ingredients were ready but then I thought of making a different one instead of the usual Bangus recipes. So here, I don't actually know how to call it. When hubby asked what was it, I just said, Bangus Sticks. It was my first time to try this so I'm not so sure with the measurements of some ingredients.

1 pc. Large size Boneless Bangus (milkfish)
1 pc Bread (size of a hotdog bun), diced
1 pc Egg
1/4 cup milk
Onion (chopped thinly)
A dash of All Spice
salt & pepper to taste
Imported Bread Crumbs
Oil for frying

Dip:
Garlic Mayo -just add finely chopped garlic to mayonaise - Kraft Mayonaise is my personal choice because of it's sweet taste.
OR
Sweet & Sour Sauce

Side Dish:
Finely sliced Fresh Cabbage topped with Japanese Mayonaise
Procedure:

1. Boil Bangus until cooked, remove skin and the remaining bones,set aside.
2. In a different bowl, combine the diced bread, egg, milk & onion. Mix until well blended.
3. Add the Bangus, All Spice, salt & pepper. Mix well.
4. Scoop a mixture of the bangus and form a stick (depending on the size that you want)
5. Dip it on the imported Bread Crumbs until covered.
6. Fry until golden brown

Bestfriends dream

It was mid of May when my best friend Ciel arrived here from London, she's been there for quite a long time. She met her husband there, built her own family, now she has 2 kids. Whenever she comes back here, we seldom find time to go out coz usually she divides her time between her family from QC and she also spend time in Pampanga, her husband's home town. She'll be staying here till July but it seems we can't still find time to go out coz she's breastfeeding her 2month old son. Aside from that, I know how busy balikbayans can be. We see each other once in a while, most of the time it's me who visits her place. I hope we can go out without our kids, just the two of us, at least before she gets back to London. Hubby offered to treat us at Shangri-La, Mactan but that's quite impossible because of her breastfeeding duty. *sigh* Well, she said she'll find time for us to have some time together. We we're talking the other day and we both thought how we missed the old days... We had so much plans then, we even thought of building a house beside each other so we could be neighbors and our kids would be best of friends too. We still dream of the same thing, her family is moving to Australia and she's convincing me to work there and fulfill our dreams of becoming neighbors and finally we can spend a lot of time together.

Toddler Jealousy

Nah, I'm not having a new baby and not yet planning on having one. There's this jealousy I see on my princess whenever she sees hubby and I being clingy to one another. She wouldn't approve us hugging or kissing each other if she's not in the middle. If she see mommy & daddy cuddling each other, she'd give us a frown and would say a very strong "NO, don't do that" and then she'll try to make her way to get in between us so she'd be in the middle. Usually she sleeps in the middle but the other night hubby slept beside me. At 3 o'clock in the morning I was awaken by a heavy thing that fell on my face, to my surprise it was the princess who made her way to get in the middle. I just thought maybe she's thinking, "and you thought you can get rid of me while I'm sleeping huh?" Clever child, isn't she?

Last night hubby and I went out on a date, we left her to my mom who lives a few blocks away from our place. The movie ended at around 11:30pm and when I asked my mom if the princess is still up, she said she's sleeping soundly so we decided not to get her. Funny how we sometimes think of wanting to spend our time together (minus the princess and yet last night, we kept thinking of her, missing her as if she's been gone for days. If it wasn't that late, we might have picked her up even if she's sleeping already.

Should I leave her again?

Last March I had to take a leave from the Review center coz I need to attend to some things first, I thought I'll just be away for a few weeks but it turned out it's been almost 2 months now. Yeah, I haven't been back coz princess' nanny went back to her province for a vacation and she returned after the election. Why am I still not going back? Hmmm... Aside from the earlier post I made, it's actually the li'l princess I'm concerned about. Since I gave birth, I became a SAHM, I'm personally taking care of my princess, bathing, preparing food, feeding, up to the sterilizing of her bottles. I didn't have a nanny until I started attending my review classes. And that's the time she started losing weight, not getting a regular afternoon nap and she started watching the local noon time shows that I never let her see when I was the only one taking care of her, not to mention, she sometimes calls me "ate" (she calls her nanny ate). I'm sure if you're a mom like me, I wouldn't have to explain how devastating it is to see your daughter/son loose weight. For almost 2months she was able to gain weight & she sleeps regularly in the afternoon, of course she doesn't make the same mistake of calling her mom "ate" . Now that I'm about to go back to my review class, I'm holding back because she might lose weight again, my mind is being filled with lots of things that sure wouldn't encourage me to leave my princess to her nanny alone.

Wishing she's still here...

I got an email from my uncle last night, he sent me the latest photos of my cousins. I cried again when I saw their youngest daughter who is just the same age as my princess, I can't help but cry seeing their kids growing without their mom beside them. I can't imagine my daughter growing up without me. I know God has a plan but I just can't help it. I still feel bad about her leaving us so soon. I feel it every time I think of the family she left behind, Two daughters who are very dependent on her. I hope they live near us, at least we could help them, take turns in looking after them. Help them in any way we could. We can never replace what my aunt can do for them, but we can at least provide a little help to lessen their pain and their burden. It has been a year since my aunt came to her final rest but I still can't believe she's not with us anymore. I still miss her and I'm still wishing she's still here...

My Little Princess on her Summer Class

We enrolled our li'l princess on a summer class at Gymboree. It's a two-hour class of Play and Music. It was her fourth session today, usually at the start of class she would rather play and explore the area rather than following teacher's instructions but in a little while she'd always be on the first row to do what teacher says. Right after her first class (Play), her Music Class follows, her favorite part is when the teacher brings out some musical instruments for them to explore, not to mention the dancing and singing part. I just hope they'll open their branch at Trinoma coz it's definitely very near our place and I'd ask them to transfer my princess' files there so we could just attend there instead of going to Shangri La. I know my princess is enjoying every moment of her class eventhough she gets a little fussy at times.

Second thoughts...

Late last year, I discussed to hubby the idea of me pursuing my career outside the country, of course that would mean we all have to go and start a new life there. He agreed and were very supportive of me during my review, he provided everything that I needed, he even drop me off my review center and pick me up as well when he can. When we discussed it to some of our relatives and friends, they were very surprised with our decision. I've heard some of them said, "why do you need to do that when you can live a very comfortable life here?", others said, "it'll be very hard if you go coz there you'll do everything on your own". I got their point, I've thought about it too, I know It'll be very hard to start a new life there knowing that we got used to being comfortable in our own country and the idea that we will live far from our relatives is one thing that makes me really sad. But I wanted to do it for a reason that would benefit not only me but the whole family, for our precious angel's future. I know I have my personal reason, that is to fulfill my dream of having to pursue my real profession but most of all it's for my family's future I am more concerned about.

Last week while hubby and I are having a chat in our bedroom, he mentioned something that I wasn't expecting. I thought he's ready to leave and try a different journey, I thought I was able to convinced him. He said to me, "do we really need to go and try our luck there?" "We're living a comfortable life here, why should we give this up?" A moment of silence and my mind started to think of things I had planned. I replied to him and said "You know what, you're confusing my mind". I didn't know he was having second thoughts about us migrating. Now I'm confused, should I continue what I'm doing or should I just let him decide for us? I just told myself, I'll take the exam and if I pass, that's the time we will have to decide if we will go or we will stay.

I'm keeping this one

Although I've been blog-hopping for quite sometime, I haven't had my very own blog or should I say I can't maintain a blog which I will write on regularly. I finally decided that I'm keeping this one and I'll try to keep it updated as much as I can.